I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I would fuck him just for his dog
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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