3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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