So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
