Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
