Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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