My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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