I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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