im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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