A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
