I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize