i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
