i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
