It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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