why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
