apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
