I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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