With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
