Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
