Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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