kristin has been a bad kristin
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
