I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
