Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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