if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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