who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
