I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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