there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize