Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize