I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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