Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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