my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
