I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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