You really coming over, don't trick.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
