I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
