Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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