i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
