Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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