we have officially lost it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
