thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
