i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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