This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
