I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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