Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
