maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
