I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
