Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
