i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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