Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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