she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
