and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
