How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize