i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
