i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
