awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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