her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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