I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
