I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
my poor anus
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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