you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Enjoy the penises
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
