there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
