still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
