we're blogging at a bar
my sisters under your porch take her home
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
