Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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