PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
