There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
