Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
the liver wants what the liver wants
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize