I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
