My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
How's work?
Spinning.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
