dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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