i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
