honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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