I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
