but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
