yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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