Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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