Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize