I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just pee around me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
