your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
