it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No...this little piggys going to the bar
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize