Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize