Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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