idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
